…not too close to love
Rest in Pieces by Saliva, playing…
You’re just two feet away; at an arm’s reach I could almost feel you breathing.
Yes, I’m hearing you.
You’re talking about what you both did when you went out last night. You had a argument the other day, but everything is quite fine now.
You’re in love, as you’ve always been. And now you’re telling me your plans together. Thoughts of all that make you smile. Everytime, it does.
Yes, I’m hearing you alright… or at least I’m trying.
You just don’t know how difficult it is listening to you stories as I become lost in your innocent smile…
That one smile you do while your eyes almost close shut, your lips open widely and you burst out that childish giggle funny in itself.
Then I just smile back. Not at your joke, but at the giddy feeling your smile brings me. And as to prolong that moment, I would passively reply with a vague "Go on".
…It’s a wonder though how I could be hurt by such a small, sweet thing such as your smile.
Yes, I am. Everytime.
Looking at you is a deadly risk I always take, and at every instance, I am half-hearted, because I know if i stare too long, I might never be able to look away.
You might not know that, but that’s the truth.
You might not have noticed, but if only you’d look closely, you’d find out that there’s a certain sadness in my eyes when I smile back. That when I am able to muster enough strength to reply, there’s pain between the lines of the words of my righteous response, forced out by sheer respect and courtesy.
You see…
When we talk, looking at your smile - however beautiful and sweet it may be - is a painful reminder that I may always stay within an arm’s reach from you, and gaze at your smile as long as I want…
…but you would never smile that way because of me.
I could only listen to your stories I’d hardly be part of.
I could only stay at an arm’s reach, and nowhere closer.
and I could only stare at your innocent smile and relish it as long as it lasts. But I know, in my heart, it would never be mine.
Never for someone like me.
…What scares me more is that I know you won’t be the last to pass me by and smile at me like you guiltlessly do. But in any case, i’d still rather stay here.
…Just at an arm’s reach, not too close to love.
" look at me / my depth perception must be off again / you got much closer than I thought you did / I am in your reach / you held me in your hands // would you find it in your heart / to make this go away / and let me rest in pieces… "
