learning from the past
after all this time, i’ve gotten the chance to read through my blogs.
a bold thing to do. taking a glimpse of the past. rekindling all the feelings… mostly of hurt, and loss.
it’s the past, indeed.
but really… how am i any different than before?
does it just never end? the pain?
i was told that love is a choice… and maybe happiness too.
my mind does agree.
but sometimes, my heart says no.
…and i guess the heart is harder to convince, because it is the heart that feels.
…and when you get hurt, the feeling is just so hard to shun away.
you can’t just tell yourself, "it’s nothing" when you start bleeding. every drop of the scarlet liquid will tell you otherwise. it is something. it is real.
so, how does one love inspite of the heartache? how does one become happy when, inside, you cry?
i’m not a wise man. i’m no sage.
but what i do know, is that it’s part of it. hurting is part of loving. you can never love if you’re not willing to get hurt.
…because when you love, you give up something. you give up yourself… pieces of yourself… things that are important to you… and those are not easy to give, and not all people would be willing to do so.
but the only way for you to sure that you are genuinely in love is that - inspite of the peril, inspite of how much you lose, inspite of the torment - you go on and continue… loving… just because.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 )"
