…back to you

(”The World I Know”, by Collective Soul, rendition of David Cook, playing)

Nathan Petrelli: “Does God know what I am? Do I? Am I an angel or a monster?”

Faces with no names. People wanting to be wanted.

Finally, I found you.

Suddenly, time stopped running.

Everything else stopped moving.

Right in front of me, just meters away, there you were, eyes closed, kissing someone else.

Shock ran through my veins, like a sudden jolt of lightning, not intended to kill, but stun all consciousness in me.

One… You opened your eyes.

Two… Your eyes caught mine.

Three… Lovely you. Petrified. (You should’ve seen the look on your face)

Then, maybe, four…

It took about four dreary seconds for me to recognize pain amid the turmoil of emotions after the numbness. But quickly, the pain dissipated.

I’m not quite sure why, but all I could do was to smile, etched one part helplessness, one part amusement.

Ha Ha. There I was, the King of Fools, smiling at the love of my life, kissing someone else.

If only I could fly, I bet I would’ve… faster than a heartbeat of my then dying heart.

Sandra: You’re a seventeen year old girl!
Claire Bennet: Who can’t get hurt! Can’t die, can’t even feel pain… You just don’t understand.

F*ck. I thought “Blind Dating” was just one of those shallow romance-comedy chick flicks so not worth your money.

…Maybe it was. Maybe it was just me. But when Danny got to see his family’s faces for the first time, “fuzzy images in black and white”, tears came gushing down my eyes.

I was crying incessantly, and a surge of intoxicating emotions filled my lungs I found it difficult to breathe. Then, I realized… I wasn’t crying over Danny anymore.

I was crying over me.

Realizing that only made me cry even more.

So, really, we might heal easily as some, or slowly as most, but the truth is that we’ll all have to deal with the pain first before the wounds would mend.

Hiro Nakamura: “I teleported. Forward. Backward. But I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save Charlie.”
Ando: “So, try again!”
Hiro Nakamura: “It won’t work. This power, it’s bigger than me. I can’t change the past. No matter how hard I wish. I failed.”

Looking back, would I have had things any differently? What would I have changed?

Should I have just not been there to see it for myself?

Should I have confronted you right then and there, humiliated you in front of everyone else? Should I have gone into a brawl and shattered your face with my fist until they were stained with your blood?

Should I have tried loving you more than I already did? Should I have loved you less?

Or should I have not loved you at all?

…But if I could go back and alter the past, would it make any difference? Would you not have deceived me? Or would it all be just the same? Would you still have mocked me behind my back, and betrayed me for a kiss, perhaps in just another place, or another time?

I guess, the answers don’t matter anymore, do they? Now that I know. Now that I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Now that I have failed yet again, after all I’ve put in the relationship - in “us” - having to pick up the scraps of what little there is left of everything - of me - and move on… Without ever looking back at you and whatever you had with… had for… me.

Sylar: You’re like me.
Peter Petrelli: I will never let myself become you.
Sylar: You already are, brother.

I went out the other night. I asked myself, “What do I do now?”.

I’m free to do what I want. Hell, I’m soo free I could do what you did, without an ounce of guilt or remorse or reason to hold back.

But there is… a reason… why I opted not to.

Because I know better.

Because I deserve better.

Because I have to make things better for me and that person who’ll give me the love you never gave me, and who will never even dream of hurting me the way you did.

Niki Sanders: “Oh God, please help me.”
Jessica: “Who needs God, when you’ve got me?”

In life, we can either be strong, or weak. We could always learn from our mistakes, or dwell in the past and never let go. There’s right and wrong, as there’s darkness and light.

I think, what matters, what’s most important, are the choices we make. It could be the choices that we fail to make. But in any case, there’s always a choice.

…It would be very easy to presume who the heroes are as opposed to the villains. But good and evil may not always appear so distinctly as black and white. You and I, may be either one… and it may or may not matter, because after all, all everybody yearns for is love - to love and be loved - heroes and villains alike.

Love. That’s the power…

…I may not have the power to fly away and turn my back against all these that have happened. I may not have the ability to heal so quickly, or the strength to easily pick up from where I left off before you. But what I do know that I do have… is a choice.

I will not feel hate over you, but gratitude, for setting me free and letting me meet someone else who will treat me right and give me what I deserve. Revenge can do nothing.

I will not look at our past so bitterly. In time, I’ll be able to look back and smile - after bringing all the good things from it - happy that I have come out of it as a better person.

The past will not have any control over me. I shall not be a slave to it. Instead, I will leap forward the soonest time possible and brace myself for the good things to come.

Easier said than done, I know.

“Yet we struggle to make a difference, to change the world, to dream of hope; never knowing for certain whom we will meet along the way. Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand, touch our hearts, and share the pain of trying?” - Mohinder Suresh